The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck

Charismatic people generally don’t “give a fuck” about what others think. They are fearless about speaking their minds and leaving situations they don’t enjoy. Most people know someone who has succeeded by behaving boldly. While it’s theoretically easy not to care about unimportant things, most people find themselves taking offense or worrying about what others think of them at some point each day.

“Most of us, most of the time, get sucked in by life’s mean trivialities, steamrollered by its unimportant dramas.”

People who dwell on every little thing that bothers them expect the world to cater to their wants and needs. This sense of entitlement sets them up for disappointment, as life inevitably serves up a certain amount of failure, rejection and chores no one wants to do. Life actually gets less fraught when people expect and accept uncomfortable realities. It requires a conscious effort over time, but pays off in a more mature, resilient outlook.

“Not giving a fuck does not mean being indifferent; it means being comfortable with being different.”

To the surprise of many, “indifference” is not the answer: It’s just an attempt to hide from the pain of caring too much by living without any real passion or direction. Not giving a fuck means refusing to let the fear of adversity, failure or embarrassment get in the way of standing up for important beliefs. It involves accepting some minor emotional discomfort in exchange for the freedom to be different. Far from not caring about anything, not giving a fuck means being willing and eager to pursue things that really matter.

“If you find yourself consistently giving too many fucks about trivial shit that bothers you…,chances are you don’t have much going on in your life...And that’s your real problem.”

The simplest way not to mind adversity is to have something bigger to care about. People who consistently stew over small annoyances generally haven’t got anything better to do. The human mind simply needs something to focus on; anything will do. It’s important to choose a priority worth caring about so your mind won’t fritter its time away on stupid stuff.

As people mature, they gain perspective and realize many of the things they once cared about don’t matter. They see that no one notices much of what anyone else does, which frees everyone to focus on themselves and what matters to them individually. With age, people’s energy and desire to change the world diminish. People accept themselves and life more as they are and enjoy not having to give so many fucks about everything. This leads to an unexpected sense of peace and contentment.