Glad We Met

Take the right approach to maximize your one-on-one meetings. 

One-on-one meetings, generally featuring a manager meeting with a direct report, can cover a variety of issues. In most cases, a one-on-one meeting serves the team member’s needs and covers the topics that matter most to that employee. One-on-one sessions should address both participants’ priorities, including goals, problems, roadblocks, productivity, employee development, and any other topics either participant chooses to raise.

Research finds that about a billion business meetings take place daily worldwide. If 20% to 50% of them are one-on-ones, that’s somewhere between 200 and 500 million of these sessions every day. Based on the 200-million-meetings estimate, a low-average wage of $9.37 an hour, and about 20 minutes spent per person per meeting, these one-on-ones could cost a staggering $1.25 billion daily. So one-on-one discussions are common, costly, and potentially quite consequential, but participants say about half of them have “suboptimal” results. Managers often fail to maximize their benefits.

“Every 1:1 is an opportunity to help team members grow and develop through honest and actionable feedback, coaching, mentoring and career conversations.”

Most leaders believe their one-on-one talks accomplish their objectives. But, as a manager, you can improve your one-on-one meetings to gain a better return on the time and money you invest. Be aware that much of the current guidance available — potentially including your present understanding of how to make one-on-one meetings more effective — is unreliable and often lacks any basis in evidence or science.

One-on-one meetings strengthen ties within a team and an organization. These sessions also can supplement and support performance appraisals, but they are never a substitute for formal performance appraisals.  

The most useful consults occur between managers and their direct reports, and they follow an agenda.

One-on-one meetings fuel communication between direct reports and their managers. Even managers who conduct regular team meetings, have high team engagement scores, socialize with their employees, and maintain an open-door policy still should hold regular one-on-one meetings with their team members.

“People fail to get along because they fear each other; they fear each other because they don’t know each other; they don’t know each other because they have not communicated with each other.” (Rev. Martin Luther King Jr.)

For each one-on-one meeting, create an agenda. Using the “listings” approach, the team leader and the employee each create an individual list of topics to discuss. When they meet, the employee covers his or her list first — this is the most important list — and then the team leader goes down his or her list. The best agendas cover immediate work issues as well as long-range topics, such as the team member’s career growth and development.

Tell your team members why one-on-one meetings are necessary. 

Effective one-on-one meetings support managerial success, team success, and each employee’s individual learning and engagement. They produce better outcomes, strengthen relationships, and promote diversity and inclusion.

“The research is quite clear that 1:1s are arguably one of the most important activities you can do as a leader.”

Prior to individual meetings, provide your team members with some context for their individual sessions. Anticipate these common questions from your employees.

• What will we talk about? – Tell the employee that he or she will set the initial agenda, though you may add talking points.
• Why can’t we rely on informal communication? – Explain that quick chats often address only short-term issues and topics.
• Why can’t we discuss all of this stuff in team meetings? – Tell your employee you want to address his or her specific needs, challenges, and development.
• Can I cancel…if needed? – While you can allow cancellations as necessary, it’s best to establish a routine for your one-on-one meetings and try to stick to it. Explain that these meetings represent your decision, as a manager, to prioritize your employees’ needs, and all participants should honor them.
• What expectations do you have of me? – Stay open-minded and explain your concerns and your goals for your staff member. Be candid about shared objectives, and urge your employees to ask for help if they need it.

Conduct weekly sessions with the individual members of your team.

The most effective schedule for one-on-one meetings is to hold them weekly, especially with remote employees. Meeting more often than weekly can fuel micromanagement. 

“Scheduling is ultimately the role of the manager, so pick the schedule that aligns with your needs and preferences, while also giving your directs some agency in this decision.”

If all or most of your employees operate from the same office, you may be able to hold one-on-one meetings less frequently. If the frequency of these sessions becomes a concern, consider deferring to the preferences of your direct reports. Each weekly one-on-one meeting should last about 25 to 30 minutes. If you meet with an employee less frequently, plan on spending 45 to 90 minutes per meeting.

Plan your meetings’ location and what questions you’ll ask.

Plan your one-on-one meetings in detail, including the location. Your office is the most traditional choice, but you could use your direct report’s office or a conference room. Unless you’re holding a virtual meeting, consider meeting at a coffee shop, a restaurant, or a bench in the park. Exterior locations help eliminate any official “positional status” that may interfere with easy conversations.

Include your employee in planning the setting of your meeting. If you select an external location, make sure you can talk without being overheard or drowned out by ambient noise. Consider a “walking meeting.”  

As the manager and team leader, you should direct the conversation. The quality of the questions you ask your team members will determine the quality of your dialogue. The more informed and nuanced your questions are, the more likely you are to have a meaningful conversation.

“There’s a hole the size of the Grand Canyon when it comes to 1:1s.” (David Rodriguez, retired Chief Human Resources Officer and board member, Marriott International)

Your questions will fall into five general categories: building connections with your employee, his or her degree of engagement, setting and checking on priorities, giving or getting feedback, and the team member’s career growth and development.

Avoid the wrong type of questions or getting stuck in meaningless minutia. For instance, don’t ask people to tell you everything they’ve done in the last week. Don’t be too personal, such as, for example, asking people if they go to religious services. Never gossip about other employees, and don’t complain. Avoid focusing on yourself and what you need, and don’t ask one employee about how any of the other team members are handling their job.

Stay positive, share mutual priorities, cover new material, ask for feedback, and say, “thank you.”

To get the most out of your one-on-one sessions, follow these suggestions:

• Foster engagement – A productive one-on-one meeting requires the active participation of both people.  
• Start on a positive note – Maintain a positive aspect but, as necessary, preserve your neutrality. Get the follow-up items from your last session out of the way first. Maintain eye contact. Be clear that one-on-ones require honesty and openness.  
• Cover new ground – Avoid focusing on information that just reinforces  “confirmation bias,” that is, ideas that bolster your existing beliefs or those of your team members without adding any new considerations.
• Take notes – Your notes reinforce your employee’s accountability and give you a tool for tying together several one-on-one meetings.
• Work through both tactical and personal issues – Tactical issues deal with work- and team-related tasks, goals, and activities. Personal issues are relational and could touch on the employee’s concerns about being heard, supported, trusted, and treated with respect.  
• Ask for candid feedback – This signals that you want to become the best team manager you can be. When you ask for feedback, pay attention. Don’t react defensively or emotionally to negative feedback. Follow up to elicit specific information you can use to improve your performance. Asking for details ensures that you understand your employee’s point of view. Always say thank you.  
• Implement “five key behaviors” – Listen empathetically; speak candidly and transparently; actively engage with everything your direct report says; be supportive; and demonstrate openness and vulnerability.
• Ask for help –  Both parties should feel free to ask for assistance. 
• End on time – Stop at the agreed-upon time.  
• Wrap up – At the conclusion of your meeting, go over all the business that transpired and record important takeaways. 
• Follow-up – Managers and direct reports must follow up on all commitments made by either party during the meeting. These commitments should be mutual. 

One-on-one meetings do not always occur only between a manager and his or her direct reports.

“It would be nice to get direct input…and feedback on my program areas from my manager’s manager.”

Sometimes, employees meet individually with their managers’ manager or a higher-up executive. These “skip-level” meetings are often held quarterly.

Regular one-on-one sessions help ensure your success as a leader.

Having a solid, one-on-one conversation each week with every person on your team represents a time commitment that requires planning and follow-through. Weekly half-hourly sessions should require about 25 hours a year per person. However, the amount you will learn from your employees to inform your leadership decisions, the relationships you will foster with them, and the help you are providing for them is incalculable. Consider the Chinese proverb: “If you want happiness for an hour, take a nap. If you want happiness for a day, go fishing. If you want happiness for a year, inherit a fortune. If you want happiness for a lifetime, help somebody.” Research confirms that one-on-ones improve employees’ “engagement, performance, and retention.”

Since your success depends on your direct reports’ performance and their outcomes, it also serves you professionally to maintain a close working relationship with each team member.

“It isn’t what we say or think that defines us, but what we do. (Jane Austen, author of Pride and Prejudice)”

Individual meetings help your direct reports understand you and clarify how you both can work together. These meetings manifest your investment in your people and in your leadership.