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Good Girl Deprogramming

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Good Girl Deprogramming

Unleash The Rebel Within

Michelle Minnikin,

15 min read
7 take-aways
Audio & text

What's inside?

Society uses “Good Girl, Bad Girl” stereotypes to coerce women to collude in their own oppression.

Editorial Rating

8

Qualities

  • Controversial
  • Applicable
  • Concrete Examples

Recommendation

Psychologist Michelle Minnikin explains that society coercively uses “Good Girl” and “Bad Girl” stereotypes to make women complicit in their own oppression. Minnikin itemizes how patriarchal attitudes objectify, belittle, degrade, and limit women’s autonomy and agency. Using popular therapeutic jargon, she urges women to think critically, to make time in their busy lives for mindfulness practices, and – most crucially – to stop people-pleasing. Exposing the misogyny she finds inherent in contemporary Western culture, Minnikin calls on women to “rebel” in order to connect with their authentic selves.

Summary

Society divides women into “Good Girls” and “Bad Girls.”

Good Girls know to be polite, helpful, selfless, and kind. Good Girls take fine care of their homes and children. They are tidy and loyal. They don’t ask for help because they’re trained to nurture other people. Good Girls aren’t overtly sexual and never start arguments. The downsides to being a Good Girl include taking on too much responsibility for other people’s happiness while neglecting their own self-care. Good Girls never complain.

Bad Girls are impolite, unhelpful, and selfish. They are rude and messy. They wear sexy clothes, drink, and swear. They are bad mothers and disloyal partners. According to the Urban Dictionary, Bad Girls are also “sexier and more alluring than good girls.” Society rewards men for being assertive, risky, independent, and domineering, but it condemns and belittles women, describing similar behaviors as “bitchy,” “aggressive,” and “bossy.”

Women and men both experience pressure to conform to gender stereotypes. Not all women prefer the color pink, and some men want to be nurses, yet society funnels them into categories that undermine their...

About the Author

Chartered Psychologist Michelle Minnikin has experience in leadership, organizational development, employee relations, and personal growth. She co-authored the Inspiring Research Podcast with James Eves. 


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