Skip navigation
It’s Time to Talk (and Listen)
Book

It’s Time to Talk (and Listen)

How to Have Constructive Conversations About Race, Class, Sexuality, Ability & Gender in a Polarized World

New Harbinger, 2019 more...


Editorial Rating

8

Qualities

  • Applicable
  • Concrete Examples
  • Insider's Take

Recommendation

Initiating conversations on sensitive topics, including race, gender, ability and political ideology can be tough. Many people also find it difficult to keep such dialogues constructive. Cognitive behavioral psychologists Anatasia S. Kim and Alicia del Prado designed an eight-step model to help you investigate the goals and values underlying your desire to discuss difficult subjects. Their book will guide you in approaching hard conversations with empathy and with understanding toward those who might hold opposing views.

Summary

The Kim Constructive Conversations Model will help you converse meaningfully about polarizing topics.

When someone says something you find offensive, you may feel a desire to educate that person on gender equality, for instance, or race or other forms of discrimination. However, in a politicized and polarized culture, strong emotions can inhibit meaningful engagement. With courage and strength, you can turn difficult conversations into constructive ones. Be willing to question your perspective and accept that you can have a positive exchange, even if you don’t change the other person’s mind.

Author Anatasia S. Kim created the eight-step Kim Constructive Conversations Model to help generate the kinds of conversations that can have a profound effect on their participants.

Step 1: Determine your underlying reasons for having difficult conversations and acknowledge the emotions that can inhibit constructive engagement.

As a first step, look inside yourself to understand your motivation for conversing on sensitive topics. Think about your expectations and whom you might wish to engage. Maybe you want to improve your relationship...

About the Authors

Therapist Anatasia S. Kim, PhD, is a faculty member in the Clinical Psychology Program at the Wright Institute in Berkeley, CA, where therapist Alicia Del Prado, PhD, is a tenured associate professor. Del Prado publishes in multicultural psychology and co-founded the Asian American Psychology Association’s (AAPA) Division on Asian Americans with Multiple Heritages (DoAAMH).


Comment on this summary or Start Discussion