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Make Yourself Happy: Be Kind
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Make Yourself Happy: Be Kind

How to break the negative feedback loop that can make us act mean

Arthur C. Brooks
The Atlantic, 2023
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Most people see themselves as kind, socially positive individuals. However, remaining a nice, generous person becomes increasingly difficult when you’re faced with negativity. It’s almost silly how someone cutting you off in traffic can really ruin your day. That is why Harvard social scientist Arthur C. Brooks’s article in The Atlantic suggests using a different strategy. Based on his years of research, Brooks argues that in order to be kind and remain kind, you must respond to any negativity with positivity. He suggests that smiling, giving an encouraging compliment and lending a helping hand will make you happier in the end.  

Summary

Being kind makes you happy, but negative disruptions make it hard to stay positive.

Most people consider themselves to be nice people. In fact, according to a British study, 98% of people think of themselves as kind individuals. However, your kind demeanor may come crashing down when you’re treated unkindly. It’s only natural for people to respond to meanness with some sort of defense. For instance, you might wake up in a great mood, but then your spouse makes a critical comment at breakfast, and the next thing you know you’re in a big fight.

Furthermore, your goal to continue to be nice and kind becomes even more challenging when you come across people who seek to punish “prosocial” behavior. “Internet Trolls” – people who enjoy ruining a good mood and...

About the Author

Harvard professor Arthur C. Brooks, PhD, is also the author of Gross National Happiness: Why Happiness Matters for America and How We Can Get More of It; From Strength to Strength: Finding Success, Happiness and Deep Purpose in the Second Half of Life; Love Your Enemies: How Decent People Can Save America from the Culture of Contempt; and Who Really Cares: The Surprising Truth about Compassionate Conservatism.

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