PeopleSmart

Developing Your Interpersonal Intelligence

Berrett-Koehler, 2000

15 min read

10 take-aways

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What's inside?

Did your grandmother once tell you that there are two kinds of smart: book smart and common sense smart? Now there is a third kind: people smart, an intelligent way to boost your intuition about people and your communication skills.

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Recommendation

It turns out that when you become savvy about other people, or “people smart,” you become smarter about yourself, as well. That’s the hidden practical message in Mel Silberman and Freda Hansburg’s intelligent new book. They bring their considerable expertise and hands-on experience to bear in these lessons on building interpersonal skills. Simply laid out, yet well-written and concise, the book walks you through the sets of skills you need to master. As you learn to understand and apply them, you gradually sense the impact these skills can have on your ability to lead and excel. getAbstract recommends this book to those who are interested in improving their people skills (and remember, you’re a “people,” too).

Summary

How to be People Smart

To be people smart, you must understand, learn, and practice eight basic, but crucial skills: understanding people, expressing yourself, asserting your needs, using feedback, influencing others, resolving conflict, being a team player, and shifting gears.

One: Understanding People

Trying to understand people is the foundation of interpersonal intelligence. When you rise to the challenge of understanding how other people think, feel, and perceive, you gain true connection and deeper relationships. As you evaluate any situation, try to see through the other person’s eyes. This enables you to understand others better, and to get a better grasp on your own role, as well. The benefits of this are immediate, obvious, and enormous: You’ll communicate more effectively, be able to influence others, and know how to resolve conflicts in a healthy, peaceful way.

You can begin to interpret people’s behaviors by first evaluating their goals. Understand that everyone has three basic goals that relate to the universal desire to feel safe and worthwhile. These goals are control, connection, and competence. Assess each individual’s personal style...

About the Authors

Mel Silberman, Ph.D a psychologist and author of the best-selling Active Training coordinates the Adult and Organizational Development Program at Temple University, where he is a professor. He is president of Active Training, a Princeton, NJ firm that provides business and personal development seminars, including the one on which PeopleSmart is based. Freda Hansburg, Ph.D. is a psychologist in clinical practice, and the director of the Technical Assistance Center, a consultation and training program at the University of Medicine & Dentistry of New Jersey.

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S. M. 2 years ago

very informative, one of the best i've read
R. S. 8 years ago

Good read, I was able to come up with realization for the things that should have been done in a nicer way. :)
A. L. 8 years ago

I like this type of self help topics especially buiding on character and values. Thank you Deltek for introducing me to these type of books.

Freda Hansburg and Mel Silberman