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Successful Negotiating

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Successful Negotiating

Letting the Other Person Have Your Way

Career Press,

15 min read
10 take-aways
Audio & text

What's inside?

Negotiation is not war. The sooner you learn this simple lesson, the better your chances of leaving the bargaining table a winner.

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Editorial Rating

5

Qualities

  • Applicable
  • For Beginners
  • Engaging

Recommendation

Ginny Pearson Barnes’ book declares that negotiations should not be wars of attrition or clashes of egos. Instead, they should be mutually beneficial dialogues that involve an open exchange of ideas, mutual respect and a celebration of differences. Sound a little simplistic? Perhaps. But the book is crisply written and covers all the points that one would expect: determining which side of a negotiation holds the power, using body language to your advantage and crafting fall-back positions. While some of Barnes’ advice, like finding satisfaction in defeat, will sound a bit trite to hardened negotiators, she does present some interesting bargaining-table techniques, including some innovative ways to derail a domineering opponent. Nevertheless, veterans of hard-fought deliberations likely will find Successful Negotiating a bit soft in detail, so getabstract.com recommends the book to rookie negotiators who want to know what to expect when they step into the smoke-filled room.

Summary

What Negotiation is Not

Negotiation does not mean confrontation. Negotiating means resolving a disagreement by means of trust, communication and a belief in a process of exchange. Here are some key facts you must understand about negotiating:

  • Negotiating is not always neat or nice. Once you accept that, you can find the inner strength to push toward what you want.
  • Negotiating is not a game or a war. Games have rules and you know in advance what you need to do to win. That may not be true in real life. Rules, risks and rewards change. Be flexible.
  • Negotiating is not about egos. Cooperate. Work together. Your goal is to leave the negotiation with a better relationship.
  • Negotiating is not about perceptions. The challenge is to understand the other person’s thinking. Try to see things from the other person’s point of view.

Understanding Motivations

Everyone has three important higher-order needs: to be loved and valued, to be in control and to have sound self-esteem. When these needs go unmet, emotional reactions are normal. When you respond emotionally, you may choose unproductive behaviors. You can respond to emotion in...

About the Author

Ginny Pearson Barnes  originally published Successful Negotiating under the title 8 Steps for Highly Effective Negotiation in 1995.

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