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Nonviolent Communication
Book

Nonviolent Communication

A Language of Life

Marshall B. Rosenberg
Puddledancer Press, 2003
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Editorial Rating

8

Qualities

  • Applicable
  • Well Structured
  • Concrete Examples

Recommendation

Psychologist Marshall B. Rosenberg explains how to express your needs and feelings in ways that promote respectful, empathic interpersonal connections. He’s not writing primarily about conflict resolution or mediation, though you can apply his system of “Nonviolent or Compassionate Communication” (NVC) in those areas. Instead, he addresses “compassionate communication.” Rosenberg’s updated manual – this is the third edition – offers new communication-related behaviors you can apply productively. Note that using this system requires embracing a theoretical framework about human needs and emotions that Rosenberg could have explained more completely and you’ll have to work through some jargon, albeit kind and purposeful. getAbstract recommends this compassionate method to businesspeople seeking clearer communication and those interested in mindfulness, relationships and personal growth.

Summary

“Nonviolent Communication”

Many of your established communication patterns may contribute to dysfunctional relationships, misunderstandings and frustration. Making “moralistic judgments” about other people can alienate them. This differs from making “value judgments,” which people do all the time. Comparing people to each other interferes with authentic communication, as does talking about what someone deserves or denying responsibility for your actions. When you say you have to do something, or someone else is making you do it, you alienate yourself from other people.

“Nonviolent or Compassionate Communication” (NVC) offers interpersonal connection “from the heart.” NVC helps you focus and stay humane in tough circumstances. Using NVC, you can alter your consciousness so that you see your actions differently.

NVC has four components: “observations, feelings, needs and requests.” To apply NVC, work through these four elements. Observe what’s going on. Share how an event makes you feel and what you need. If you ask the other person to do something, your request should be specific. Ask for something the person can do. Don’t request an attitude change or an abstract...

About the Author

Psychologist Marshall B. Rosenberg, PhD, is the former director of educational services for the Center for Nonviolent Communication. He has written 15 books, including The Surprising Purpose of Anger; Beyond Anger Management: Finding the Gift and Being Me, Loving You: A Practical Guide to Extraordinary Relationships.

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