Look around you: The world was surely made by, and exists for, extroverts. It is loud. It is fast. It values aggression. It rewards push. These are all extrovert characteristics. In such a world, introverts are sojourners. How can these quiet, contemplative, reclusive personalities get by? Learned psychoanalyst and proud introvert Marti Olsen Laney provides some helpful approaches and techniques introverts can use to thrive in an extrovert world. If you are an introvert or want to understand one better, you’ll find Laney’s guidebook for introverts helpful.
A World for Extroverts
In modern society, the cards are stacked against introverts. This is not surprising since 75% of people are extroverts, not introverts. Their attitude: “It’s my world. You just live in it.” Extroverts are outgoing, aggressive, take-charge types. They focus on the external. Introverts are quiet, contemplative, retiring types. They focus on the internal. But today’s world is not a museum trip. It’s a rock concert. This world engages extroverts, but it drains introverts. So when extroverts say it is their world, they are right. From childhood, introverts feel out of place. They think something is wrong with them. They feel pressure to “shape up,” to “get with the program,” to “act like everyone else.” The message to introverts is clear: “You are screwed up. Change.” Unfortunately, this is like asking a bear to fly or a bird to grow fur. It will never happen.
Psychoanalytic pioneer Sigmund Freud is partially responsible for the popular animus toward introverts. Freud was an extrovert. He theorized that people achieve psychological fulfillment only through full engagement with the external world. Alfred Adler, a colleague of Freud in the field of ...
Marti Olsen Laney, Psy.D., is a marriage and family therapist and psychoanalyst, as well as an author, teacher and public speaker.
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