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The Parenting Prophecy
Article

The Parenting Prophecy

The way someone was raised often shows up in the way they raise their own kids — for better or worse.

Faith Hill
The Atlantic, 2023
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9

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Picture this: You’re rushing to get your kids ready for school and catch yourself huffing in annoyance as your mother did when you were growing up. You may feel disconcerted to find yourself imitating your parents’ behavior with your children, but you’re not alone. Research shows strong ties between people’s parenting and the parenting they received from their parents, journalist Faith Hill notes in this thoughtful article in The Atlantic. Social learning plays a role, but other factors lead you to repeat parenting patterns – for better or for worse. Breaking this cycle is possible, but it’s a difficult, highly personal process.

Summary

Parents often mimic their parents’ parenting – for better or for worse.

Most parents, at some point, catch themselves mirroring their own parents’ behaviors with their children. They may mimic specific mannerisms, phrases or physical tics their parents displayed – for example, a glare to signal displeasure with a child’s whining. Or they might subconsciously adopt entire attitudes passed down from their parents. For example, if your parents reacted harshly when you asked for a toy, you might internalize the notion that children who request non-necessities from adults are acting like brats. This, in turn, could lead you to snap at your kids when they beg for treats.

Even if you haven’t noticed yourself behaving like your parents, you probably do, sometimes. Studies examining multiple generations of families show that, by and large, people’s parents shape their...

About the Author

Faith Hill is a senior associate editor at The Atlantic. 

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