University of Minnesota - UMN Executive Leadership Insights
Real Influence
Book

Real Influence

Persuade Without Pushing and Gain Without Giving In

Mark Goulston and John Ullmen
AMACOM, 2013
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Editorial Rating

7

Qualities

  • Applicable

Recommendation

John D. Rockefeller said, “The ability to deal with people is as purchasable a commodity as sugar or coffee, and I will pay more for that ability than for any other under the sun.” In the rush to earn hard credentials, you may forget to develop the softer skills – like persuasiveness – that will garner even greater gains. This book will help you remember. It offers no shortcuts or tricks, but it fully explains how to influence others the right way – for their good and for the long term. Think of it not only as a self-help manual but also as a guide to a better career and life. Psychiatrist Mark Goulston, author of Just Listen, and executive coach John Ullmen lay out the steps toward personal communications success and genuine influence. However, unlike the easy-reading text, the journey to authentic influence is difficult and requires self-awareness, persistence and patience. Those who commit to this quest will boost their influence, relationships and career rewards. getAbstract warmly recommends this perceptive guide to becoming supremely effective through attentiveness and selflessness. Its examples and illustrations illuminate a clear path. Your challenge and opportunity reside in actually taking that walk.

Summary

Hard Work Without Shortcuts

Lasting influence of the kind that fuels long relationships and wins admirers requires hard and persistent work. While you can use various tactics to get people to do what you want, the path to “real influence” has no shortcuts. However, with perseverance and awareness, anyone, regardless of wealth, status or education, can become tremendously influential.

Unfortunately, human nature, or instincts, can cause people to behave badly in many of their encounters with others. The pitfalls of seeing things almost exclusively from a selfish point of view include constantly trying to urge people to adopt a different way of thinking, attempting to sell to them, speaking more than listening, and becoming defensive, argumentative and stubborn in the face of opposition.

To become truly persuasive, avoid these failings of human nature; this may require fighting your impulses. Generally, when you are trying to persuade someone or when someone disagrees with you, your usual first reactions – given those foibles – may be the opposite of what you should do. Instead of interacting through the lens of what you want, try to see the other parties’ perspectives...

About the Authors

Psychiatrist Mark Goulston is a consultant, columnist, coach and FBI hostage negotiator. He wrote Just Listen and co-founded Heartfelt Leadership. Executive coach John Ullmen lectures on leadership at UCLA. He worked in intelligence for the US Joint Chiefs of Staff.

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