University of Minnesota - UMN Executive Leadership Insights
The Power of Positive Confrontation
Book

The Power of Positive Confrontation

The Skills You Need to Handle Conflicts at Work, at Home, Online, and in Life

Barbara Pachter
Da Capo Press, 2014
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8

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Recommendation

Do you need to confront people about their behavior, but you just aren’t sure what to say? Don’t put it off, says communications coach Barbara Pachter. Writing with Susan Magee, Pachter shows how to use the “WAC technique” to tell someone constructively exactly “what” is bothering you, to “ask” for a behavior change, and to “check in” to be sure he or she heard you. Pachter sketches a variety of scenarios that might require you to confront a co-worker, neighbor or family member – and she equips you with the vocabulary to address the situation in a “polite and powerful” way. Updated for social media, Pachter’s guide explains how to navigate sticky situations at work and home. It includes tips on vocabulary and body language. Not every confrontation will be as tidy as she implies, but as you read her scenarios and savor her down-home advice, you might recognize people you know and moments you’ve lived through. getAbstract recommends her approach to anyone seeking better interpersonal communication.

Summary

“Polite and Powerful”

Whether it’s the co-worker who lets her food spoil in the office refrigerator or the neighbor who lets his dogs roam on your lawn, you probably have someone in your life who’s getting on your nerves. How you handle the situation is up to you. Some people avoid confrontation. They seethe quietly, which drains their energy and productivity. Others vent their frustrations to a third party who has no power to fix the situation. Others suppress their feelings until they blow their top, which just makes things worse.

Why do people avoid confrontation? Maybe they don’t want to hurt someone else’s feelings or they fear the other person’s response. Perhaps they worry that they won’t be able to discuss their feelings of aggravation without losing their temper. Sometimes people refuse to confront others because they rationalize that the other person already knows his or her behavior is irksome. However, avoiding confrontation holds you back. Putting off difficult conversations can keep you from advancing in your career or it can interfere with your relationships with your friends and relatives. If someone’s behavior bothers you and you don’t do anything...

About the Author

Barbara Pachter is a coach and speaker on business etiquette who has conducted more than 2,100 seminars. She has written 10 books, including New Rules @ Work. Susan Magee is an author and an assistant professor of communications.

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