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The Secret to a Fight-Free Relationship
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The Secret to a Fight-Free Relationship

Conventional wisdom says that venting is cathartic and that we should never go to bed angry. But couples who save disagreements for scheduled meetings show the benefits of a more patient approach to conflict.

Rhaina Cohen
The Atlantic, 2021
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Some couples have red-hot explosive arguments, while others prefer to bottle up their anger, allowing their rage to fester. So which approach is more beneficial to nurturing a healthy relationship? Neither, says journalist Rhaina Cohen. She promotes a technique called “scheduled disagreement,” whereby couples take note of their grievances and talk through their issues at routine intervals. This refreshing approach is applicable to romances, friendships, marriages and even business partnerships.

Take-Aways

  • A “system of scheduled disagreement” can help to manage conflict in relationships.
  • Scheduled disagreement strategies can strengthen relationships between friends and colleagues, as well as romantic couples.
  • Just like healthy teeth, healthy relationships benefit from regularly scheduled maintenance.

About the Author

Rhaina Cohen is a journalist, producer and editor for NPR’s Enterprise Storytelling unit.

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