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The Golden Rule of Schmoozing

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The Golden Rule of Schmoozing

The Authentic Practice of Treating Others Well

Sourcebooks,

15 min read
10 take-aways
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What's inside?

The world’s oldest business skill: The Schmooze.

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Editorial Rating

6

Recommendation

Whether you're trying to close the sale, woo the girl, or just strike up a conversation, nothing works better than simply making the other person feel great. Author Aye Jaye describes his techniques for doing just that, by bestowing compliments, planning surprises and doling out gifts. The Schmooze is effective at everything from improving your standing with your boss, to getting a better hotel room or talking your way out of a speeding ticket. The book is written in an easy-to-read style, which very much expresses Aye Jaye's own personality, as if he is schmoozing the reader, too. And therein lies the only problem. Some of Jaye's favorite lines seem long and hokey, and some of the suggestions he offers - like sliding a waiter a dollar bill at the start of a meal while saying, "You are number one with me and there's more coming at the end of dinner." - bring to mind another Yiddish word, "Schmuck." But you needn't resort to such extreme schmoozing, and getAbstract recommends that you read this book for its original take on the power and method of the world's oldest business technique. But please, tone it down.

Summary

Why Schmoozing Works

The word "schmoozing" comes from Yiddish and means "to chat" or "to converse idly." It also refers to an extended, warm, gossipy heart-to-heart talk or to a conversation in which you try to persuade someone to do something, but in a friendly way.

Although schmoozing involves some persuasion and friendly manipulation, it does not include trying to con someone or manipulating people to get whatever you can without that person’s knowledge or permission. Schmoozing does not mean tricking someone with words, although many people may have this misperception. Rather, schmoozing is based on traditional principles of having good relationships with people, including knowing and being yourself, getting back what you give out and following the golden rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

Thus, when you schmooze, you want to turn others on and delight them, not to fool them. You are not just a smooth talker. Rather, you are talking to people as if they really matter - because you truly believe they do. In effect you are volunteering yourself to another person and simultaneously you are making them feel better about themselves.

About the Author

Aye Jaye is a performer, stand-up comedian and member of the Clown Hall of Fame. As a performer for an international kids’ entertainment and advertising corporation, he has entertained millions at Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, the Rose Bowl and Radio City Music Hall. He has played the White House seven times.

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