Crucial Accountability

Most people never hold others accountable for acting badly in public.

The most crucial conversations in life concern the situations that have the highest consequences if people don’t live up to their responsibilities. The big question about failures of accountability is often, “Why didn’t you keep your commitment?”  

Speaking up when someone violates a social norm or another accepted standard can be difficult, but norms enable people to coexist without discomfort and anxiety. Problematically, most people simply won’t call others out, even when they should. For the majority, the downside of potential conflict is worse than the upside of speaking out. Confrontation risks too much trouble.

But if you know how to speak up effectively when others are out of line, the upside outweighs the downside. You can learn how to handle these uncomfortable situations with aplomb. Turn to the same techniques that leaders who are known as “positive deviants” – people who cope skillfully with potentially stressful situations – use to hold their employees accountable when they exhibit inappropriate...