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Asking Questions the Right Way

Asking questions the right way can change your mind-set. People shy away from answering questions that seem invasive, but if you set your mind on discovery rather than interrogation, you can frame your questions to be respectful and to build rapport.

The ancient Greek philosopher Socrates, for example, established his reputation by asking people direct questions. This technique elicited knowledge from them that they didn’t realize they had.

A sound question yields both a factual response and psychological insight into the mind of the respondent. Ask questions that call for a narrative response rather than for a “yes” or “no.” Question starters, or “openers” – such as “Do you” and “Would you” – typically prompt a “yes” or “no,” so you should avoid them.

Using the correct interrogatives will help produce the answers you seek. The best interrogatives are the basics: “who, what, where, when and why.” Deviating from these classics may incline the person you’re asking to withhold information you want. Asking correctly phrased questions shows that you are unbiased and curious.

Usually, you should ask only one question ...