How to Start a Conversation and Make Friends

Body Basics

If you sometimes feel like a wallflower, examine your body language. You may actually feel that you’d welcome getting into a conversation, but if you cross your arms or don’t look people in the eye, your body is saying otherwise. Be in tune with your body language and that of others. Be sure you have an open, friendly facial expression and a ready smile if you want to give the immediate impression that you are open to conversation. Holding a hand over your mouth might be comfortable, but consider the subconscious impression this body language gives. To project a positive attitude, and show interest in others and what they have to say, remember “SOFTEN”: “Smile, Open Arms, Forward lean, Touch (for example, a friendly handshake), Eye contact (never stare), and Nod (show interest).”

When you first talk to someone, make an open, receptive impression by using a combination of techniques. For example, you don’t need to consider whether it is the right time to extend your hand in greeting if you’re the first to do so. If you find it difficult to look people in the eye, consciously build up your courage by making eye contact with people for very brief periods. ...