Conversation Transformation

Communication Breakdowns

Failure to communicate leads to conflict and damaged relationships. Often, people blame each other or the subject under discussion for such communication breakdowns. But no matter with whom you’re trying to speak or what you’re trying to discuss, behavior is the true culprit behind these failures. You have to learn how to talk to people, because avoiding difficult conversations won’t make your problems disappear. You can claim that someone’s “bad attitude” or “emotional response” ruined your conversation, or you can improve how you communicate by learning how to undo your own negative patterns. What you say and how you say it affect how well your interactions work.

Wanting to change is not enough. Back up your intentions with action. Use “awareness, action and practice” to understand and recognize your communication patterns and rethink how you speak. Six common patterns cause most communication problems:

1. “Yes-Buts”

Yes-but phrases lead to problems because they send mixed messages and create conflict. Many people use a yes-but to soften a negative comment, but listeners hear only the second half of the statement – the phrase...