Get It! Street-Smart Negotiation at Work

Emotions Above Reason

Emotions determine far more of what happens in a negotiation than the rational elements that people consciously advocate. If you recognize that, you start with a huge advantage.

Once you acknowledge the role of emotions, you can make finer distinctions. Recognize that two reasons motivate any action: the stated, public rational reason and the actual, private emotional reason. Uncover the real reasons behind each party’s actions, so both parties can act on them. Identify and work on the specific emotions. Given that level of understanding, you can create the hope of a mutually beneficial outcome. Because any positive action requires hope, you are likelier to persuade people if you can raise their hopes.

People also will find your point of view more persuasive if they like you or feel connected to you. Fortunately, you can have direct impact on how much you are liked. Create a positive bond by modeling positive interaction and communication. If you are friendly and smiling, people will respond to you in kind. Build your level of engagement by paying attention to the negotiation’s context. Observe details and use them to develop rapport. To...