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Financial Infidelity
Book

Financial Infidelity

Seven Steps to Conquering the #1 Relationship Wrecker

Bonnie Eaker Weil
Hudson Street Press, 2008
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She rushes to the mailbox to intercept the credit card statement and make sure that the incriminating information remains confidential. He receives a nice bonus check but blows it all at a bar after work. Lying to a partner about money is all too common. Bonnie Eaker Weil, Ph.D., uses her 30 years of therapeutic experience to present a compelling study of financial deception and its impact on relationships. Attitudes toward money – even spending habits – are shaped during childhood. The trick is understanding them. Weil says adults who lack insight about their attitudes tend to perpetuate destructive behaviors that can harm their relationships. getAbstract believes that almost anyone can benefit from Weil’s advice. She’s right on the money.

Summary

Looking Past the Symptoms

Financial infidelity is the great cover-up. Millions of people in committed relationships wage fierce battles about money, unaware that their real issues are love, trust, intimacy and communication. Partners compensate for those missing elements by engaging in power struggles over money and possessions. Learning to talk about money is extraordinarily difficult, but partners who master this skill can repair and strengthen their bond. Relationships often move through stages of “euphoria,” “magical thinking,” “power struggle,” “transition” (deciding to stay together or not), “breaking up” or “making up,” “reromanticizing” and “real and lasting love.” To build your relationship, learn to have “Smart Heart” conversations based on openly expressing your feelings, and showing deep interest in and respect for your partner’s feelings as well.

To keep fiscal fallout from destroying your relationship, follow this seven-step approach:

Step 1: “Calculate the Cost”

In healthy relationships, couples must deal with the challenges that arise after the initial “hormone-induced euphoria” begins to dwindle, but many couples would rather engage in...

About the Author

Bonnie Eaker Weil, Ph.D., has specialized in relationship therapy for 30 years and is the author of several books, including Make Up, Don’t Break Up and Can We Cure and Forgive Adultery?

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