University of Minnesota - UMN Executive Leadership Insights
I Hear You
Book

I Hear You

Repair Communication Breakdowns, Negotiate Successfully, and Build Consensus...in Three Simple Steps

Donny Ebenstein
AMACOM, 2014
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Editorial Rating

7

Qualities

  • Applicable

Recommendation

Workplace communication breakdowns happen when a boss, subordinate, client or co-worker refuses to budge from his or her point of view. Coach and mediator Donny Ebenstein provides practical solutions for overcoming common workplace conflicts. He shows you how to identify with different perspectives even when you disagree with them. He covers dealing with an overbearing boss, dividing a workload more equally among team members, balancing work with your personal life, developing better client relationships, and more. On the plus – and minus – side, Ebenstein offers pages and pages of sample dialogues to illustrate how difficult situations can either escalate or achieve a solution. The examples are useful, but their repetition is tedious. Even so, he provides worthy advice about understanding another person’s viewpoint – the cornerstone of a more peaceful, productive workplace. getAbstract recommends his methods to supervisors, subordinates and colleagues who are struggling to understand each other.

Summary

At a Loss for Words

Many people know what they want to say, but become frustrated when they feel the person with whom they’re talking doesn't seem to hear them. When you’re stuck, the instinctive response is to “give up trying to make it better.” Frustrated people tend to get angry, disengage or both. You need to change the dynamic if any of these descriptions apply:

  • You’re dissatisfied with your current situation.
  • You notice an unhealthy pattern of repetition.
  • You feel unable to improve or change the situation.
  • Steps you’ve taken to try to improve the situation aren’t working.
  • You are unhappy.
  • You think the “other person is the worst person in the world.”

It Starts with You

Wendy felt that her co-worker, Kevin, shirked his responsibilities, shifted difficult assignments to her and left the office early. Wendy confronted Kevin; he claimed he finished his work before he left. Her conversation with Kevin proved unconstructive because when she challenged him, he became defensive. Wendy grew angry at any suggestion she could be to blame for their conflict.

“I’m the one who is working my tail off all...

About the Author

Donny Ebenstein is an international coach and mediator in the private and public sectors who specializes in conflict resolution in the Middle East.

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